Blog written by Laboratory Staff JH
I recently finished reading a book titled “Stuck in the Middle” by Virginia Smith simply from the interest that I am a middle child myself, and have two sisters who are very different individuals than me. While feeling that I could finally relate to someone who feels that same pressure and overwhelming need to fight for attention as a middle child, I found that I could completely understand the thoughts falling upon the main character’s younger sister, Tori. She is a strong individual who doesn’t want to settle for a commitment with a man until she herself feels emotionally stable and ready to give up her luxurious lifestyle. She places heavy blame on her hesitant nature with relationships on the basis that their father left the family years before after marital issues with their mother. There is a part in the book where the sisters are discussing their future hopes for their own families as the younger two sisters consider their older sister’s current pregnancy:
Allie’s hand curled around her tummy, “But don’t you want to have kids someday?”
Tori shrugged, “If I do, I’ll just visit a sperm bank. That way, no one gets hurt.”
When I read this part of the book, I wasn’t shocked so much at the bluntness of the comment, but more so at the actual legitimacy of it. In all actuality, it is completely possible for a strong, single woman to make the decision to have children on her own, although that woman may have different reasons as to why she would choose to endeavor a sperm bank on her own. It can be understood that starting this process can entail a large financial obligation, but it is a whole different commitment to make as a solo individual. Nonetheless, it creates options for individuals, and certainly provides options to more individuals than just single women. My feeling is that the idea of sperm banks should not be expressed so simply and subtly as a “quick solution,” but that it gives hope for so many individuals, partners, and infertile couples. This option allows them to knowingly and happily answer the question Allie asked her sister before:
“But don’t you want to have kids someday?”
And each person can confidently say, “Yes, and I/we will!”
